I've been feeling a little off the past couple days...Not actually sick, per se, but tired and for no real reason. Maybe it's the weather or maybe it's a tiny touch of my sister's cold from last weekend. Either way, I've been feeling more like hibernating than doing just about anything else.
When I'm tired I tend to start living in my head -- more than usual. I've thought about how to find a second job so that I can pay the bills that keep coming even when the paychecks don't. I've been thinking a lot about getting more information about starting school again and doing the paperwork for my Associate of Science Degree, which is the only thing standing in my way -- I have all of the credits.
And I've thought about designing again. Still don't have ideas solid enough that, when I sit down with pencil and paper I know how to begin, but it seems like I'm always thinking about it. When I drive, I look around me at buildings, landscapes, and just the general layout of cities and I can't help but want to improve upon it. Maybe it's my obsessive-compulsive tendencies to want to tweak and perfect everything. Maybe it's just what I'm supposed to do with my life.
Still, I can't afford the move to Boston and the architecture school I really want to attend so I need to start smaller. I'm planning to look more closely at programs through the University of Northern Colorado and hopefully get back on track. And, since I do love my job as a tutor, I think the next logical step along that road is teaching. Math teachers seem to always be in demand so I'm confident that I could get a job, despite the dreary job market and slashed educational budgets everywhere. Still, if nothing else, it would allow me to charge more for tutoring and would help me get through graduate school at Boston Architectural College, if I ever get there and am accepted.
How pathetic am I that I'm tired and ready for bed before 8 p.m. on a Wednesday night? The answer is "very." But oh well, I am what I am. Goodnight!